Perfectionism has been on my mind for awhile. Are moms and women born perfectionists?
How many of you are perfectionists? Everything has to be just right before you can say “I’m finished.”. Do you find that it helps you or hurts you? While dotting all you i’s and crossing your t’s is admirable, is the effort worth the result?
Lately, I have been examining how I approach my writing. Usually, I research everything, cover all angles, and grapple with whether the topic is really noteworthy. In the end, I am left with an excellent article but the investment of my time and effort has been huge. Also, for every idea that I actually write about, there are probably a bunch that I scrapped.
What if I had just let the ideas flow? Perhaps the quality of the articles would not have been as good. Definitely, not as well researched and authoritative. But I would have expressed my opinion, encouraged discussion, and maybe a new idea would have grown out of the old.
Meanwhile, other bloggers are downright prolific. Everyday, several times a day, even, they write well thought out and meaningful posts. Where do they find the time and ideas? What I am learning is that sometimes you just have to barrel ahead. Some things will flop but other concepts will take off. You won’t know until you try. And if you wait until everything is absolutely perfect. Well, it probably just won’t happen.
As to the question that I first posed – are moms and women more likely to strive for perfectionism? In my opinion, the answer is yes. Maybe it is just in the nature, or maybe it is just the people that I know. But it seems to me that women are held back by perfectionism more than men.
And no, I don’t think that perfectionism is a curse. In the end, it serves us well. If we can develop a better product, write a better article, or be the best at whatever we set out do, we will have more success. However, if we strive for perfection before we even get started, then we may never even give ourselves the chance to be perfect.
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Sometimes I think it’s a blessing and sometimes I think it’s a curse. I do think women tend to be more concerned about the details than men. I think I’m not as focused on being perfect as I used to be. I think it’s more how we respond to our and other people’s imperfections that help define who we are.
What a great topic Neena.
I do think most women/moms are perfectionists. I know I am. It can be both a blessing and a curse. I guess it’s how we learn to deal with it. I’m like you in researching an article, I often spend way too much time on it. Sometimes after spending a few hours I decide that it’s not ‘noteworthy’ and the article never gets posted.
I like being a perfectionist. The danger for me is letting my perfectionism paralyze me, and that is what I try to watch for
Aruni,
Motherhood has definitely brought my perfectionistic qualities down a notch or two. When time is so limited getting the job done, period, is accomplishment enough. You bring up a good point, though – how we respond to others imperfections. Often, if we set the bar high for ourselves we expect the same from others and as result become quick to judge. Recognizing other peoples strengths is a skill to be learned.
Heather,
That is exactly what I was getting at – “perfectionism paralysis”. It can really bring you down. If you are too critical of your own self then perfectionism can hold you back from your goals. Keeping it in check is so important. Perfectionism can absolutely make you stand out from the crowd provided it doesn’t keep you from joining the crowd in the first place!
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