Parenting Tips: Extracurricular Activities - How much is too much?

Spring used to mean showers and may flowers - but in our family it signals the beginning of spring sports. If your schedule is anything like mine - the day picks up pace around 3:00 pm. The kids come home and the driving begins. I know I am not alone.

I have always been a firm believer in afterschool activities. It builds kids self confidence, fosters teamwork, and gives them an outlet for all of that pent up energy. The trade off is the ever important down time that children also need. In my case building down time into our schedule is almost impossible. With four kids that have different interests, each one individually has something to do just about everyday. And if we have to take one child to an activity, then everyone must come along for the ride. (You know I will post one of my parenting tips extolling the virtues of carpooling very soon!)

The problem that I see with extracurricular activities is not the activity itself, but the young age at which sports change over from something fun to participate in to something very serious and competitive. Practices quickly go from being once a week, to twice, thrice or more per week. And since “everyone” is participating - you must too to stay in the game.

My kids don’t seem to mind the schedule at this point. They enjoy seeing their friends and being outside in the warm weather. But it does take a toll on parents especially moms. All the afternoon driving means that dinner must be prepared or at least planned for early in the day. In our house school comes first - but when spring is in the air, it is hard to corral the kids into getting their homework done before the activities start. And don’t forget the cost. Each sport or extracurricular activity usually carries a fee for the program itself, along with an added cost for uniforms and equipment.

If you are feeling a bit overwhelmed the following list may help you out:

10 Parenting Tips for Managing Extracurricular Activity Overload

1. Determine your available time and budget and limit your children to one or two activities each.
2. Set up a carpool with one of your child’s friends if you can.
3. If you find out that your child will have more than one practice on a given day even if they are not at the same time, pick one to attend and skip the other. The coach won’t love you for it but keep your child’s best interests in mind. Perhaps you can alternate weeks for each sport.
4. Make sure school work doesn’t suffer. Just as you schedule your child’s sports practice on your calendar, you should also add homework time to the calendar.
5. If your child seems to tired to attend practice one evening don’t push it - but make it clear that you cannot routinely skip an extracurricular activity once you have made a commitment to attend.
6. On busy evenings try to free up your own time to devote to your kids. Make dinner ahead of time if you can. (check out these posts on vegetarian slow cooker recipes and slow cookers in general for some good ideas)
7. Participate by watching. If you are permitted to watch your child’s practice. Stay. It may not seem like it but your child will feel proud to know that you were there cheering him/her on.
8. Recognize when something isn’t working out. Everyone makes mistakes. If you or your child chose a sport or activity that he/she hates, and you’ve given it a good try, maybe you just need to write it off. If you feel strongly about sticking with it, then it is not unreasonable to ask that he complete the season and then choose something else in the summer or fall.
9. There will be days that you will not have any downtime. Make sure to compensate by taking the following day at a slower pace.
10. Sleep is important. Make sure that your children are getting enough sleep. This will help them keep in pace with their busy lives.

I have been posting quite a few parenting tips about permanent markers lately. So, I write this at the risk of becoming known as the permanent marker blog.

It seems that my four year old daughter refers to permanent markers as “pregnant” markers. It took us a while to figure out exactly what she meant when she asked to use the pregnant markers. But after much guesswork we were able to decode the situation.

And then it dawned on me - my daughter is truly wise beyond her years. While markers are hardly pregnant, pregnancy is certainly permanent.

A good lesson to remember for the teenage years.

And one more phrase to add to “my favorite words“.

You know I love giveaways. Hey if you can get something for nothing - well, why not? Especially if the prize is useful to parents and families.

Right now, time is running out to enter my U Grl Trading Card Giveaway. If you haven’t entered already be sure and check it out!

It also happens to be Giveaway week at Weary Parent. Char and Christine are offering up some awesome stuff including books for moms, Blume Girl Thermals, and my personal favorite - a brand new blog design. Keep watching as the week progresses for new items up for grabs!

The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss
No, this really isn’t an official parenting tips book. But I read it anyway because my workweek is way longer than 4 hours (more like 24/7) and anything that will help me cut back on all that overtime is definitely a plus.

I know this book was all the rage a few months ago - but like anything else around here - I get to it when I get to it. So if you missed all the hoopla the first time around then you are at the right place.

Anyhow, in a nutshell, Tim’s methods of reducing a workweek down to four hours can be summed up in two words - efficiency and delegating. If you don’t waste time on all the mundane tasks, and completely eliminate the unneccessary ones then you will free up a lot of time in your day. If you delegate the mundane, even better.

The problem is that, in order to make this work, you need to have a pretty good business sense. You also need to have a good idea for a business that will take off, and you need to be willing to take risks. After all, income is well, - important.

If you are fresh out of college - the methodology in The 4-Hour Workweek is great for you. But if you have one or two or three or four children to support and you kind of need health insurance, or college is looming in the not too distant future, hmmm, it is a little risky.

However, if you already work from home or stay at home and even if you don’t, The 4-Hour Workweek offers some good advice, that could qualify as hidden parenting tips, for getting things done quicker and in a more efficient manner. Things like checking email often and taking phone calls as they come in are all big time wasters. Stuff is another time vacuum. And if you have a family then chances are you have a lot of stuff. I spend a good portion of each day putting things away. Imagine if we just got rid of a lot of that “stuff”. Think about the time you would gain.

And delegating is another thing that I don’t do often enough as a parent. Sure the job may be done quicker if I just do it myself - but I may be doing everyone a disservice with that attitude. My kids are more than capable of taking over some of the responsibilities of the house. My husband is a sweetheart and already does a fair share of house upkeep - but sometimes delegating to the husband is also necessary. And those volunteer activities - PTA, Board of this or that, fundraisers, etc. - lots of room for delegation!

So, parents do have something to gain from The 4-Hour Workweek. But now that I can do one of my jobs in four hours, I wonder what parenting tips exist for handling the other 21 jobs that I juggle as a mom!

UPDATE: This contest is now closed.

Enter the NeenMachine.com U Go Grl Trading Card Giveaway!

Here is your chance to win a box of 20 packs of U Go Grl Trading Cards!

Earlier this week I posted a review of the U Go Grl Trading Cards. Check it out to learn about a new craze that empowers tween girls with self confidence.

These cards are aimed at tweens and contain uplifting and constructive information to build a girls’ sense of self. Definitely something parents will appreciate. Oh yeah - and they are a lot of fun too! Which is why kids love them.

To enter the contest just leave a comment on this post - something like “I would love to win this!” is perfect. The deadline to enter is midnight on Friday April 25, 2008.

You can read the official contest rules here. This one is for U.S. residents only and you must be 18 years or older to enter.

There is only one entry per person but if you subscribe to NeenMachine.com via email (use the form in the right sidebar) and confirm your subscription you will gain a second entry. And if you blog about this contest you gain a second entry as well - just leave a comment with the url of the post.

Good Luck!

This contest is also part of the BloggyGiveaways.com quarterly carnival. Check out the list for more awesome family oriented giveaways!