Here is one area in which I could use parenting advice – Kids Fighting.
And, I am not talking about my children and other kids. Luckily, they get along well with all of their friends! 
No, I am talking about my kids and my kids. Yep – sibling rivalry at it’s worst.
In fact, my job as parent would be a lot easier if everyone just got along – all the time.
I hate hearing that whine, “MOOOOOOOOOOM, he did this or he did that.”
And how about the lovely question, “How come he gets to do so and so, and I don’t. It’s not fair!”
I have tried everything from punishment, to reward, to ignoring, to yelling. And it is probably my lack of consistency that keeps the children’s arguments alive.
I have narrowed it down to the following 10 Parenting Tips to Stop Kids Fighting (from a mom at her wit’s end):
- Your siblings are your best friends. If you can’t treat them well, then you can’t have playdates with other friends. Sounds fair enough don’t you think?
- You must try to work through your differences before involving me – mom. This must be done without yelling or physical contact.
- Be flexible and open to each others suggestions. LISTEN to each other.
- If you do call me in on the matter, then what I say goes – and you may not like my decision.
- No teasing is allowed, under any circumstances – provoked or otherwise.
- Remember that you are not all the same age. Behavior that is ok for a five year old may not be ok for a twelve year old, and vice versa.
- Same as number 4, except privileges that are granted to a twelve year old may not be appropriate for a five year old.
- Respect the decisions of your parents for rules 4 and 5. Do argue the matter and do not harbor resentment towards your siblings for those decisions.
- If you are willing to share a toy, snack, etc. with a friend – you should also be willing to share the same with a sibling.
- Love and respect each other – your siblings will always be there for you.
I hope this will put an end to the bickering! Let me know what works in your home.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
I too have 2 children that like to fight. I went and got the 123 Magic book and have been applying their methods for 4 years now and if you are consistent it will work. I also figured out that there are certain activities they do together and they never fight when they are busy doing those. So I encourage those activities. My kids are 4 years apart and my daughter is the older one. I explain to my son all the time that everyone is entitled to some alone time and girls seem to need it more than boys. So my solutions was to tell my daughter to take 30 minutes to play with my son and don’t fight and then she can retreat to her room and do what she wants to do. And then I will play Uno or something else with my son to distract him from the fact that his sister is over playing with her little brother. Compromising is what is most important, I think, when it comes to sibling rivalry , and you can teach them how through helping them solve problems in the beginning and then letting them work it out between themselves. And they will!!!
I hope this helped and remember that it is never to late to make a change and try something new!
{ 1 trackback }