Balancing Work and Home–Is This A Time Management Nightmare?
Of all the issues that women face, balancing a career life and a home life is one of the most challenging. When I consult with women in the workplace, inevitably questions arise about how can a woman attend to her career development goals and handle all of the pressures of raising a family, being a good wife, keeping a model household and/or taking care of elderly parents? Something has to give, and often the woman with whom I am working, feels guilty that she can’t do it all. As women, we handle many roles. We are involved in family activities, work activities, personal health activities, etc. How do we find a balance?
Life balance and personal happiness do not necessarily depend on earning more money at work or buying more luxury items for the home. Other things can have a more important impact on our well-being. Our age, stage of life, genetic make-up, personality and upbringing, all work together to affect what makes us happy and provides life’s satisfactions. Life balance is always changing as we navigate through our world, and much of the aspects that we need to address are largely ignored as we place major emphasis on making appropriate career choices. Consequently, throughout our lives, we don’t address the issues which actually determine our own personal life balance and happiness. Yet, life balance and happiness can be managed and attained, if we know the components and the causes of our own well-being. Life balance can, therefore, be understood, planned and achieved, just like any other important life’s aim.
Life balance is easier when we understand the stages needed to be taken to achieve it. As we go through our lives, new challenges and experiences change the relative importance and mixture of these factors. The better we understand the changing needs of our life balance, the better able we are to achieve and maintain them. Life balance is a personal thing. It must be what works for you, not what works for someone else, or something which someone else decides for you. That is when stress creeps into things. When your life is out of balance, you can become anxious, you can feel tense and you can feel stressed.
I know from my own experiences that I had to stop setting standards that were physically exhausting, anxiety producing and realistically unattainable. By constantly raising the bar of how I defined success, I fell into the trap of thinking that I was a failure because I could not be something I was not. Rather than moving up a corporate ladder by changing job locations within a company, I realized that I wanted to stay in the same geographic area, because that is where I felt most comfortable, and it was more important for me to feel a part of the same community than making more money as I relocated every few years. I changed my perspective and shifted the goals I was trying to achieve which eliminated the guilt-induced perspective I had previously held. I set my own standards rather than using someone else’s. You can not be everything to everyone. Decide what is most important for you first to maintain your sense of self worth. Then, and only then, can you share yourself with others.
Stress Reducing Tips for Working Moms
- Stop feeling guilty. No one is perfect, and I am sure you are doing the best you can. But there are always choices, and sometimes you have to say, “No, I can’t do this or meet that request.” Activities are time consuming, and some activities will have higher priorities than others. Watch the standards and priorities you set for yourself. Is it really that important to have the perfectly manicured lawn or the perfectly decorated house? While kids are living in the house, it is ok to have a house that looks lived in.
- Don’t over-program your kids. It seems to be a trend that we enroll our kids in every afterschool activity and sports program offered. But kids need down time. If you restrict the number of activities to a manageable number, you can help them learn to prioritize their choices, and you will find your taxi driving time reduced. It will also help the kids participate in some activities and allow them to have some down time to relax and rejuvenate.
- Take care of yourself. Remember that your health should remain a priority, having proper nutrition, exercise and time to rest. Personal time is important as well, so that you can rejuvenate. Enjoy the company of your spouse and enjoy time with friends away from the kids. Don’t let the kids take all of your time so that you become depleted emotionally.
- Remind yourself that there are many ways to be a good mom.
Ann Gatty, Ph.D. is a life coach inforpreneur, author and organizational strategist. She has taught in classrooms and organizational training sessions and now works as a life coach for professional and personal development. Dr. Gatty has developed curriculum for college courses, organizational training and personal development. Dr. Gatty hosts a website, www.stress-management-4-women.com, which offers stress management strategies, life skill development, and a means of finding your true passion in life. She has authored Discovering God’s Recipe for a Healthy Body, Heart and Soul. Ann Gatty earned a Ph.D. in Instruction and Learning from the University of Pittsburgh, School of Education. She is married, the mother of two young adult boys, and shares her home with her husband, two Great Danes and a Bassett Hound.
{ 1 trackback }