I know this post is late and the news is old but the Virginia Tech tragedy has been on my mind. Each victim is a life cut short and a family in pain. Yet only one question remains - Why?

What could cause someone to become so deranged to commit this act of horror? As a parent, I am scared. Not only because children were victims but because someone’s child was the monster. I am sure his parents felt that they were doing their best to raise him. So, what went wrong?

What can we as parents do to help our children cope with their emotions when they enter their darkest hours?

Char at Weary Parent has written an excellent post entitled 13 Things We Need To Teach Our Teens. The resounding message is that we need to empower our children to deal with disappointment and rejection in a healthy way. We all know that life is full of ups and downs - it is a bumpy ride, but it shouldn’t be tragic.

For younger children (this also applies to teens) Mark Brandenburg has a helpful article entitled Top Ten Ways to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids.

Clearly, ignoring the emotional health of our children comes at a high cost.

Recently, my fifth grader came home from school with stories of how some of his classmates had created a video and posted it on Youtube.

While I was impressed with the kids technical know-how, it also made me wonder if the popular video hosting service is a good playground for 11 year olds.

The types of home videos that people can create and post there are largely uncensored. Youtube is not the only culprit - apparently Google, Yahoo!, and MSN also have similar type sites.

CNET.com in their Living with Technology section has posted an article entitled User-generated videos challenge parental controls. It is good food for thought.

Today I attended an internet safety presentation given at my kids school. It really is a scary place out there. I had posted earlier this month on internet safety, however, I realize that what I am currently doing may not be enough.

My children have not yet ventured into the world of instant messaging and internet chatrooms. And I intend to keep it that way for as long as possible. But the oldest one has been asking because, I quote “all my friends” are instant messaging. I guess I’m from the old fashioned school where if you need to talk to someone - just pick up the phone or see them in class tomorrow.

I also want to trust my children when they are on the computer and not look over their shoulder at all times. But curiosity has gotten the best of all of us. It is human nature, after all.

I walked away from this morning’s presentation with a few more ideas and a long to-do list.

• First, there is no substitue for parental involvement. As I previously posted the location of the computer is KEY. It should be in a common area where you can always monitor what the kids are doing.
• Second, open communication is critical. Should you punish the kids if they come across offensive content? The answer is no. You should appreciate the fact that they were upfront with you. But, at the same time you need to work together to avoid a repeat.
• Third, I could use a little help from a software program - perhaps to restrict the time allowed on the internet or the sites visited.Clearly I have some homework to do.

  The following sites provide some tools and food for thought: www.isafe.org, www.netsmartz.org, and www.teenangels.org.

  This is a software program that provides parental controls on Windows based computers. Read more about it at www.mysafekeeper.com.