Parenting Tips

Kids and Electronics

My kids love their electronics. If they were given a choice it would be video games 24/7. For a parent, this is extremely irritating. Imagine a house that is topsy turvy, stuff everywhere, and four kids glued to a monitor somewhere, oblivious to the mess that surrounds them. Sound familiar?

I have tried all kinds of rules, time limits, coupons, you name it. And they all do work, as long as I am ready to monitor it and be the “electronics police”. Somedays, I just don’t want this job.

We always have had a no electronics on the weekdays policy which works well, but then the weekends turn into a techno free for all. This past weekend was extremely busy for us and I did not want to fill the few hours of down time with video games and tv. It is always so hard to pull the kids away when their time is up.

So I did something shocking - I said no to electronics for the weekend. And a funny thing happened - my kids played the old fashioned way! They made up stories, they took out the art supplies and created beautiful art projects, they read books, and generally got along with each other.

The house became even more disorganized - there were newspapers spread across the family room floor as the children glued and painted and tried not to get any on the carpet. But it was so much better than being plugged in, that I really didn’t mind.

I will definitely do this more often!

Do You Take Your Home Business Seriously?

Many stay at home moms try to juggle an at home business in addition to their parenting responsibilities. Like all other entrepreneurs some have more success than others. But moms, in general, may be more vulnerable because they don’t take their business seriously enough.

Often when a family makes the decision for mom to stay home and raise the kids, they ensure that the family can manage on one income. If mom eventually decides to launch her own business she will usually put family first. If the business takes off - great, but if not then the family is no worse off than before. This approach may work for some people either due to luck or charisma or both, but for most that type of effort is just not enough.

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Is Perfectionism a Curse?

Perfectionism has been on my mind for awhile. Are moms and women born perfectionists?
How many of you are perfectionists? Everything has to be just right before you can say “I’m finished.”. Do you find that it helps you or hurts you? While dotting all you i’s and crossing your t’s is admirable, is the effort worth the result?

Lately, I have been examining how I approach my writing. Usually, I research everything, cover all angles, and grapple with whether the topic is really noteworthy. In the end, I am left with an excellent article but the investment of my time and effort has been huge. Also, for every idea that I actually write about, there are probably a bunch that I scrapped.

What if I had just let the ideas flow? Perhaps the quality of the articles would not have been as good. Definitely, not as well researched and authoritative. But I would have expressed my opinion, encouraged discussion, and maybe a new idea would have grown out of the old.

Meanwhile, other bloggers are downright prolific. Everyday, several times a day, even, they write well thought out and meaningful posts. Where do they find the time and ideas? What I am learning is that sometimes you just have to barrel ahead. Some things will flop but other concepts will take off. You won’t know until you try. And if you wait until everything is absolutely perfect. Well, it probably just won’t happen.

As to the question that I first posed - are moms and women more likely to strive for perfectionism? In my opinion, the answer is yes. Maybe it is just in the nature, or maybe it is just the people that I know. But it seems to me that women are held back by perfectionism more than men.

And no, I don’t think that perfectionism is a curse. In the end, it serves us well. If we can develop a better product, write a better article, or be the best at whatever we set out do, we will have more success. However, if we strive for perfection before we even get started, then we may never even give ourselves the chance to be perfect.

Parenting Meme: 7 Weird Things About this Mom

I have been tagged by Tamara Wilson in a 7 Weird Things About Me Meme. Given that I write about parenting tips, I have modified it into a 7 Weird Things About this Mom meme.

If Tamara had asked my children, I am sure that they could have come up with more than 7 weird things about their mom, but since she asked me, well, I’m not weird am I?

  1. I am a computer geek parent. I love gadgets and wish that I had more time to figure all of the technology out.
  2. Beating dead horses is my expertise. I will research the cr*p out stuff, and in the end go with my gut feeling - which is usually the best choice anyway.
  3. I love vegetable cream cheese on cinnamon raisin bagels. Sounds great, doesn’t it?
  4. Meeting new people is something I enjoy, but I need to work at being more outgoing. And remembering names - I try every gimmick in the book.
  5. I usually wear my pajamas to the school-bus stop. Gotta love those long stadium winter jackets.
  6. I can’t cook any meat that resembles its living counterpart.
  7. I really don’t like soda.

Now it’s my turn to do the tagging. Since I have committed to blog everyday in 2008, I will tag some of my new friends at Blog 365, and get to know them a little better.

Steph, Abby, Rebecca, Jen, Cassandra Rae, Cricket, and Sweetisu, consider yourselves “it”!

Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself
4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog

How to Accomplish your Goals

time-management.jpgIf only I had more time….. All parents need more time. All people need more time. Nothing is worse than a having a “to do” list that is a mile long, trying to get it all done, and accomplishing nothing. Sure, time management is the key but how do you really accomplish your goals?

It really isn’t as hard as it seems.

Set Realistic Goals
Setting realistic goals is the single most important step for success with time management for parents. If your to do list actually a mile long, then that is a problem. Keeping a master list is fine. But each day you need to assign yourself smaller set of tasks. Look at your schedule for the day and make sure that you have the time to accomplish this smaller list of goals. Chipping away at your master list in this manner will get you farther than keeping a running to-do list that never seems to go away.

Prioritize
Almost everything needs to be done “yesterday”. But guess what? That’s not possible. Put the hottest fires first and everything else will have to wait. It is human nature to put off the stuff you hate to do - but this will only bog you down. Make yourself do the worst stuff first, then you will breeze through the rest of the day.

Create an Action Plan
Setting your goals is the easy part. Another essential parenting tip is that you need to outline the steps to make it happen. One of your goals can be as basic as getting little Suzy to her swimming lesson on time. But it is not enough to leave it at that. What are you going to do to make it happen?
You must write down these actions: pack Suzy’s swim bag, allow for driving time, allow time for changing, allow time to chat with other parents and Suzy’s friends, after the lesson need time to change into dry clothes, time to drive home.
If your write out your actions, you might realize that that half hour appointment will actually require one and a half hours of time.
You may then realize that what you thought were realistic parenting goals, are in reality not that achievable.

Don’t Give In to Distraction
You could have the best plan in the world and one little distraction can throw you off schedule. I can tell you the two biggest distractions that face today’s parents: phone and internet. If the phone rings and you are in the middle of one of your action plans resist the urge to answer it! With caller ID it is easy to screen calls, let the call go to voicemail. Make sure you have some phone call time built into your schedule and call back when it is convenient for you. You may end up playing phone tag - but you will accomplish your goals. If you don’t know by now - the internet is a black hole, it will suck you in and it is hard getting back out! Again, budget internet time into your schedule, set an alarm if you have to, and just walk away.

Allow for some Down Time
Parents aren’t robots and parenting is a full time job. Give yourself a lunch hour, a coffee break, some time to read the paper, exercise, work on a hobby, or do something that you enjoy.

Avoid Hobby Overload
That being said, hobbies can create time pressures of their own. As much as we are parents, we are also individuals with a wide variety of interests. Take an avid reader for example, a bookstore is like a candy shop. And the library is even more tempting - a huge building filled with free reads! So what happens? You borrow every book that strikes your fancy and your bedside table turns into a huge, unread, to-do list. Don’t turn your hobby into work. One project, one book, one activity at time will be more enjoyable in the long run.

Small Accomplishments = Greater Success
Nothing beats the feeling of getting things done. Set yourself up to succeed on a daily basis!

photo by Beachy