potty training

Parenting Tips for Toddlers: Bathroom Battles

Along with successful potty training comes a whole new level of independence.

I was recently at my 4 year old daughter’s soccer practice (more like soccer activity) and I overheard a little tiff between a mom and her preschooler. We had hardly been at the field for more than 5 minutes when the little girl had to use the bathroom.

Now you must understand that on an open field bathroom means Port a Pot. You can imagine the mom’s reaction – “I told you to go potty before we left the house!” in not a very nice tone.

In all honesty this particular facility is pretty clean, but still…..

So, I got to thinking – how do you give a child independence and control over their bathroom use but still avoid unpleasant situations?

It should come as no surprise that children don’t always like to be told what to do. Being told when to use the bathroom definitely falls under that umbrella. And really, as parents you want your toddlers and preschoolers to be independent in this regard. They need to learn their body’s cues as to when they have to go.

So, as a general rule (once my kids were reliably toilet trained) I did not hound my children about using the bathroom. Rather, I let them decide when nature was calling. But on the other hand I mentally kept track (mom’s are good at that) of when the time between my toddler’s bathroom visits. If it had been quite a while, I made the suggestion that they should give it a try or at least asked the question.

If we were heading out the door I considered our ultimate destination. If we were going somewhere close by that had, shall we say, an acceptable bathroom, then I didn’t push the issue – if the child refused to use the bathroom before we left. However, if we were driving a long distance or going somewhere where the only facility was a Port a Pot then using the bathroom before we left was non-negotiable. As was bedtime.

Using this approach, I generally was able to avoid bathroom battles. Because I generally didn’t dictate when the children needed to use the bathroom, they seemed pretty willing to listen on the few occasions that I insisted.

Now, years later, I love that my kids know these rules and follow them without being told.

Turning bathroom use into a battle of wills creates stress where none is needed. Every child is different and these parenting tips may not work across the board. But if you are having bathroom battles with your toddler give your child some space and he may become more cooperative.